Enough is enough...

Sometimes I wonder. I am in another one of my moods, blame it on the love stories marathon. I find myself fiening more than what I have again. There's a huge rumbling of energy inside me right now, but I never know what to do with it as usual. It feels like there's a ball of light and energy and sound just rolling around in the bottom part of my chest, it needs to be put to good use, but on what? I spend way too much time day dreaming of love with a certain someone, and extremely too much time on the love I had. I am somewhat independent, I should be able to move over these things. The new year is approaching, somehting needs to be done, but I'm not sure what. I think staying away from romantic French films may be one of the resolutions. Nah, that's my vice. Well anyways, a new year, doesn're really mean much to me right now except to buy a new calendar and start another diet/exercise regiment that I won't stick to. Another year sitting at the same computer at work, watching the clock to hit 5. Dreaming of how my life could be going. I wish someone would just step up and take me over. There's one person who I can't get enough of, and for some odd reason I keep flocking back to him even though he has no intentions or ability to take me over. I seem to be the one that takes him over, not be force, but more by his hand. Am I being a baby? Yes. As usual. Anyways, here's to a new year, an old flame, and an even older dream.

Revalation....

Well, once again I find my self pondering the idea of religion. I started watching a movie last night called "Left Behind" (courtesy of Terri, thank you) it is about the book of Revalations, which has me wondering again just how good of a christian am I? I had a dream last night, it was a warm yellowish orange light with a cupped hand, and I remember getting this feeling in my chest like a panic/excited feeling but it was ok. I went to touch the hand and I pulled back and asked myself "what if it's not real?", then I heard someone say "don't fight it, you have to believe" So that's exactly what I did and I ended up touching this hand and got this really excited feeling again like it was taking over me.It was refreshing. It could have been that I was just so tired and waking up myself by not breathing because I was so relaxed and semi-unconscience. So, I think it is trying to tell me to figure out what exactly I am, and what I am here to do. Saturday night is a church service at my church, I am there.

Where's my key?

So much pent up energy and no idea on how to use it. I feel like cleaning the whole house, painting a few paintings reading a few book watching some movies, etc., etc., etc. Work was long and boring as usual. I'm cranky today anyways, I just want to sleep all day tomorrow but I cant it's our offices anual Chrsitmas party/gift exchange. Of course I bought a great gift for my Secret Santa gift, when have I ever been one to give a shitty gift? What's even more impressive is what I picked out for Eric this year. I can't say what it is now but you will know after Christmas. Tomorrow night is coffee night as usual every Wednesday night at Cafe Classics for open mic night, hopefully a little game of Tetris since now I am hooked. Talked to my best friend Todd today, can I give a shout out to PA! WOO WOO! He said they have got at least 6 inches of snow just from last night, does this mean a skiing trip for Mandy? Possibly. And on the bad note, the planned surprised Bachelorette for Friday night for Poonam is off due to her train not getting in until Saturday, that still didn't stop me from buying her the ultimate nighty and thong set courtesy of Victorias Secret. I can't wait till she gets in town again, she's such a sweetheart. Can't wait to go to Chicago on Christmas day to see Poonam get married. It will be fun of course, with Carmen, Angie and I driving there. We pondered the idea of staying at the Hilton, but there werent very good remarks on the hotel website for feedback. I think we're going to be going with the Westin near O'Hare with the "dream beds" in the luxury room. We'll see. Well, I am going to hit the hay now, maybe catch a romantic movie before sleeping, although I just purchased this lavender eye mask which is heaven, I slept like a baby last night. Ta ta for now fans, come visit me at the Cafe.

Did I miss something?

Well, well, well, It's been awhile friend. Had to catch up on some blog reading and emails and eBay purchases. Once again I have succeeded to ignore my baby blog. This tells me I am not a person who can be depended on very easily. Anyway, I have a good excuse don't get me wrong, how can I possibly take time out of my busy schedule of working, hanging out with Eric, and repeatedly watching "Breakfast at Tiffany's" to write in my blog. Darling I've been having the most devine time playing "Tetris" and beating Eric in bowling. Shopping is a must as well today, hopefully since it is 2:09 pm and I am still in my pajamas. Imagining a more glamorous life has been occupying my time, I just can't seem to ever have enough money to support my ideas. One day darling, I will answer my door of my French mansion, in my feathered heels, dripping in diamonds, sipping champagne, glowing under the reflections of the crystal chandelier. You can come to my door anytime. In other news, while I was reading the locals blogs I ran over this little survey which was a little different from the others. So you say you want to know more about me, here goes......

1. Three names you go by: 1. Amanda 2. Mandy 3.Kid

2. Three screen names you've had: 1.Lookingforacutecowboy 2.Devilinablackthong 3.PlatinumJ74
4. Three things you like about yourself: 1.My eyes 2.Sense of humor 3.Hair
5. Three things you hate/dislike about yourself: 1.Stomach 2.Indecisive 3.Coward
6. Three parts of your heritage: 1.Czechloslovakian 2.Heinz 57 3.French
7. Three things that scare you: 1.Balloons 2.War 3.God
8. Three everyday essentials: 1.Music 2. Mascara 3.Compliments
9. Three things you're wearing right now: 1.Capri jammy pants 2.Matching tank top 3. White Initial Hoodie
10. Three favorite bands/artist you like at the present time: 1.Head Automatica 2.Dashboard Confessional 3. Dean Martin
11. Three favorite songs you like at the present time: 1.La Vie En Rose 2.Beating hearts Baby 3.Portland,Oregon
12. Three things you want to try next month: 1.Lose weight 2.Skiing 3.Learning more French
13. Two truths and a lie: 1. Signed up to join the Army (post 9/11) 2.Sucker for romance 3.Love my job
14. Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given) 1.Honesty 2.Humor 3.Devotion
15. Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you: 1.Facial hair 2.Eyes 3.Broad shoulders
16. Three things that you just can't do: 1.Speak what's on my mind to friends 2.Ice Skate 3. Make a first move
17. Three favorite hobbies: 1.Shopping 2.Sleeping 3.Reading
18. Three things you want to do really bad right now: 1.Shop 2.Move out 3.Start a relationship
19. Three careers you've considered: 1.Pharmacist 2.Teacher 3.Artist
20. Three kid names you like: 1.Victoria 2.Ava 3.Joel
21. Three things you want to do before you die: 1.Live in France 2.Watch my child get married 3.Fall in love completely
22. Three places (you haven't been to before) that you would like to visit for a vacation: 1.The Bahamas 2.France 3.Italy

So there's some extra tid bits for you of course with my indecision problem there's a lot more than you think. I want to give a shout out to my Mom, Happy Birthday. Wish my luck on my shopping adventure today. "It takes exactly four seconds to get from here to the door...I'll give you two." until next time.....

One day my prince will come....

Cinderella? Nah, just getting my hair and nails done for a mjor social event tonight. Its the annual MCAR X-mas Party, time to mingle and schmooze with the local snoots. Kidding, it's a good time, open bar, good music, and best of all I get to deck myself out and look beautiful for a night. I have my "retro" look skirt and cardigan outfit picked out and Im hoping my gwen stefani hair do will look exceptionnal well, all I need now is some very sexy red lipstick (Clinique be ready here I come) Anyways I will let you know tomorrow how the evening went Im so excited. Wish me luck darlings. Toodles.