It's all about the music...

I don't think I'm on the same level with my friends. Not saying I am better than any of my friends but thinking wise I am just not there. I was told by my mother not too long ago that I was "wierd", this is after she has read all my little blogs here. She doesn't understand the way I see things, and I am beginning to think neither do my friends. My tatse of music, my rationale my attire, all totally different from my friends, so I ponder exactly why I have friends since I am so different form them. Here's a little step into my world, I have the absolute most amazing friends on the face of the earth. There's Kati, who at first put up with a lot of my bitching, whining, etc etc, thanks to Lexapro and a better outlook on things I am able to listen to her now. We have been friends for quite awhile now, even thought she gets on my nerves (and vice versa I'm positive) I can always overlook it and still be friends with her. Kati you're amazed that I'm still friends with you? No, you should be amazed that you're still friends with me after all the shit we've been through. Then there's Eric, I have known Eric my freshman year of Highschool. Eric is the epitomy of total studliness and may I add he's quite a gentleman. Eric at first was hard to read (I read people like I read music mags) I could never figure out if he was happy or upset, and he was always careful with what he said and did around me. At first that was charming I guess but now I am more relaxed, carefree, I could care less what you did or didn't do in front of me. Since I am not the best person with an opposite sex relationship I have top say Eric has also put up with a ton from me. I quickly learned that LaSalle isn't that far away from me and guess what? Eric likes going other places besides a fancy dinner party once a year. Sorry Eric for dragging you along, for making you wear all those suits and ties, and for being a total dip infront of you most of the time. Jason, let's see what can I say about Jason? Jason frankly scared me the first year I knew him. For those of you who don't know these 2 guys they are twins so whem I'm explaining total hotness, studlike, manly guys it goes double. Yeah I know ladies it's great being me, and no don't even think about it. I've also known Jason since my freshmen year, you we're never really careful infront of my, which I am not at all complaining about. Jason is an outgoing, curious spirit. You can and WILL always have a good time with him no matter where you're going. I think Jason has been the person to let me realize it's ok to loosen up and do what you want. Todd, well we have been through a lot, is it 4 or 5 years now? You're the first to teach me how to love. You taught me how to think without boundries. You made me realize there was more music out there besides N*SYNC (kidding) You've listened, you've trusted when you shouldn't have, and the listened some more. You've taken a lot of shit from me, and still talk to me on a daily basis. It's scary how two people can think on the same level and be interested in the same things. I've learbed a ton from you and felt that I've taught you a ton also. You've always been there for me right on the other end of my cell phone (by the way thanks for making me realize how expensive peak minutes are) for whatever I needed. Then there's Brennen, my little (well not so little anymore) brother. Yeah we fight, hit, punch, spit, yell obscentities, and just normally hate each other, but there's no other person I would rather have for a brother. I have treated him like shit from the day he could understand how mad I was. Funny how things work out, even though I am surprised I haven't commited murder, watching him grow up has made me think about what kind of person I am. We would skateboard together, yeah and remember your first true punk experience at Warped? Now I can still see the punk underneath that Abercrombie exterior. I can hear the punk (quite loud may I add) everytime you turn your radio on. I know I instilled some of that punk in him, which is fanscinating to me. Now that he's in Highschool, it's like reliving my years at MHS all over again. I am sitting back watching him go through this knowing that he will be fine but still trying to be the protective big sis. Mom, the best friend of all even though we have our differences. My mother hears everything ( that I can tell her about) that I do or everywhere I go. She's been more than patient with me since I started breaking away slowly from the house. Granted I still live here, I'm not here as much and I don't get to here about her as much either. She's listened, she's punsihed, she's complimented, she's almost like a sister (and not because I look like a younger version of her or sound exactly the same on the phone) because she will always be there and listen to my nonsense, and no matter what "wierd" choices I have made and will make, she keeps me in line and understands where I am coming from.

So why title this piece "It's All About the Music"? Being granted the privilege to know and live everyday with these people in my life, I can easily put together the soundtrack of my life. Every person I know is totally different (yes even the twins) each friend has a totally different personality. I can easily find a song to best fit what it's been like living with these beautiful people. I know I haven't been the best friend, having people live so close and never see them, having a telephone and never using it, so I hope they forgive me for being so isolated sometimes. I pray that they never leave me in lifetime, and when we do eventually all leave earth, I'm positive that we will all be friends again.